Mother’s Day: Honoring those we’ve lost

I woke up this morning with such a heavy heart and tears streaming down my face. This Mother’s Day feels different and is bittersweet. I lost my grandmother on March 20, 2021. She passed away in Jamaica and we had to get her body back to Rochester, NY to lay her to rest next to my grandfather. The process was long and daunting, all while trying to stay positive. We laid her to rest eight days ago on May 1, and that is when my grieving process began.

Losing someone who was a consistent presence in my life is difficult for me to grasp. An extension of my mother, thus an extension of me. Without her, neither one of us would be here. I still have not fully accepted that this is even real. In the midst of my grief, I can’t help but to think of my mother. I can’t imagine what it feels like to lose a parent. She has lost her mother and her grief has been at the top of my mind.

My mother and my three angels, maternal grandmother Cislyn, paternal grandmother Pansie and aunt Audrey

So today, I am sending love to all who have lost their mothers. I know this day is tough and I’m sure it doesn’t get easier. I hold space for each of you and I honor your mothers today. Your mothers are living through you and your children! My heart is with you all.

Grief is a complicated emotion. You never know how you will feel day to day. My emotions have been all over the place but anger presented itself first. Today I’m experiencing pure sadness. I know I have to work through this in my own time. Dealing with a major loss makes it easy to sink into deep depression. Since May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I want to encourage y’all to feel what you feel. I will never tell anyone to “be strong” because as Black people, especially Black mothers, sometimes our will to be strong has led to us ignoring our needs. Do what you have to do to be ok. Seek help if you need to. Grief counselors and mental health therapists exist for a reason. Check out the Mighty Mommas Mental Health resources page for information. Even though the pain will never go away, therapy can help you work through it.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mighty mommas out there and wishing a heavenly Mother’s Day to all of our angels. Love y’all!